A Letter i always wanted to mail her!

Hi Dear

Greetings of the amazing day to come and this wonderful night.

Time has changed a lot and so is the nature of things that goes around us in day to day life. I remember when i first met you, you were in mid of having lunch when me and one more guy crashed in to your classroom and started interacting. Believe me that was first time I crashed in to interact with strangers and obviously my friend forced me to accompany him. I started interacting with you, we giggled and talked a lot. Another girl deepika was obviously looking beautiful but I don't know why, I never cared to talk to her. It was first time i reacted so strange! I was stuck! I was engulfed in to a unpredictable and strange charm that i kept on talking to you. I don't know what it was, but it was good. The whole feeling was like planned to happen. You were looking so cute! Dear, Believe me, you are much more attractive than you think. I wanted more! though the lunch time was going to over, and it was sad to see people pouring in to class for next lecture. I left! Only i knew there was something different going on in my mind and i was just smiling all way to hostel! Next day i go to college with a thought to see you again. You encounter! I remember the second time we met was again when i startled you by calling out your name in corridor while you were passing by my group. You might remember, I introduced you to my friends Nikhil and chetan their by. Do you remember, I talked about some project to you and then i scheduled a meeting with you near library by last lecture hour? It was fake! Being a mechanical student why would i make software project and that when Does University allows teaming up with juniors :). I just needed your time! I gave you my number but didn't ask yours coz i knew you will call (and i earned your respect). That day i bunked all of my lectures and was waiting for last hour. I was sitting in internet lab when finally your call came. I knew it was you though it was unknown number! We sat for some time in the library waiting hall and i was discussing 'from the air' Software project! :). I knew you didn't got anything what i said, and moreover i too didn't knew what i was saying, but i was just enjoying! I was happy! You called me again in the evening to discuss the things again, i was happier. Reading until now, you must have developed a mindset that i must have developed some feeling for you at that time. Yes! I was attached! My mind was devastated into odd thinking and my days were interesting and nights sleepless. But i was not convinced about my feelings yet. I never gave it any tag at that time.

Times passed, we both moved with the flow, we met once a week or we shared long chats. I went to 7th semester training when i was completely out of touch with you and other junior friends. It was around one september evening, when i got a message from unknown number, which read "Hey hi abhishek, How r u, this is [Her Name]". I was walking down the street when it beeped, For a while i looked at road and i was happy again! Life had something more for me! Gursimran, my best friend and roomie for 4 years, always took it positive and talked about her in pleasing ways. I wanted to talk! Our chats again started, we were now online exchanging pics, and yahoo messenger was the best software ever made!

Times again passed, I came back to college for one last semester. It was short, pacey & decisive. Finally we met again! Dear, Believe me, You look stunning in 'patiala salwar' kameez. You got the curves, the height, the shadow and beautiful eyes. Till that, i knew about your quickness and attitude, It was fine with me. Let me tell you one more fact. I always had a mindset for our canteen that only couples sit there. Would you believe, I was one of those students who never sat in canteen with any girl and moreover i was among those who barely entered their being shy. So sitting in canteen with you was a big challenge for me. I didn't knew how would it be or how people will react, but it was last semester. Time was the only asset i had. Kinny, one of my few of those friends who will be with me in God's house at peace, was the most influential person in my life those days. When he came to knew about my shyness to canteen and fear of evaluation, he started calling me to canteen when he sat there with his girl friend simrat. It was only those last few months, when I went to canteen every other day! I was mature now! I was mentally ready to take you to canteen. I called you. I remember we met their 2-3 times and had a decent talk-abouts. I was happy, but i knew i have to say something to you.

It was one fine evening of April'10, when i came across your facebook profile. It looked bit weird as of very empty thing. Being a quick and modern girl, your facebook profile should have been healthy, but it was lame.

I meet you next day. College canteen, crowded environment. We found a place to sit but in staff section. We talk normal, and then i mention about your facebook profile. This was the biggest mistake I unknowingly did, in my entire college life! It was your fake profile! After you denied about its authenticity, i was completely shocked to hear that someone created your fake profile. Things went low, energies dipped down, and you started crying (You had tears floating around the curve of your eye, which gave a sharp shine and reflection of CFL light straight in front of you!) Never had i in my entire life thought that i will be stuck in such a awful moment. Girl crying to fake profile, and a silly boy thinking to act! I tried my best to console you and i promised to help you in this. They say, when things go low, they fall! The canteen guy comes and asks us to vacate the chairs for some teachers. We move out of canteen and sit on stairs. You kept crying and i consoling. I remember, you talked about some of your friend whose name was misused on facebook and that she went on to depression. you said you were feared of the same things. You were broke, and then you left for home after i promised to find out the bug.

Believe me, I called up that every single guy in my network who was somehow involved in hacking stuff. Sambhav, The guy who always saved me in my hard times (be it MC workshops, or wifi passwords) was up to his best to find out the thing and that if he can help me in any way! All in vain!

You were not seen for a week, neither you replied to any smses nor you answered my calls. I was worried. Though i was helpless, i decided to support you morally and fight against the thing. This time i sms you, "Things are solved, i have managed to get it deleted". You reply at once and i succeed in getting your attention. Dear, you must be aware by now that despite of my and sambhav's super efforts, we were helpless. I smsed you about the deletion of profile just to make you happy and to gain your attention.

Things were falling, i was wondering that you will show up but you never came back. May be you didn't liked me to be your friend. May be you have gone to a dark state of mind where you thought about weird possibilities of your future. May be you were so pissed off that you decided to part off from your good friends. No-No, how can this be? Couple of days later Kinny tells me that he saw you.

Who is this KP? I asked kinny. That day, Kinny told me that you were sitting with some other guy in library waiting hall. I confirmed, his name was KP. Library waiting hall was a couple's joint. This broke me more. Rouf & Zubair, the two precious gems i would carry for my entire life with me, were your batch-mates.  Rouf was girls’ boy, and so he spent less time with me chatting about you. Zubair, was my man! He was and is the most resourced person I can ever have! Be it information about Pakistan, or Girls, Zubair was my best. He found who KP was and that which room he lived in hostel.

5 Days! I didn't felt well, I was lazy, bunking lectures, eating nothing and thinking about you all the time. As i said, Kinny was the most influential person in my life at that time, He helped me in gaining mental stability, when we planned to thrash KP. It was one fine evening, when things were planned and the action was set to be done post dinner. Zubair lived a floor below where KP lived. He was having a constant eye on his whereabouts in hostel and was planned to call us when KP goes to room. Me, Kinny, Gursimran, rouf were all set to negotiate KP, obviously, we were ready for worst circumstances. Never in my life had i thought about these moments. A Simple fun loving guy, getting ready to thrash someone, for a GIRL. They say right, "A fall into a ditch makes you wiser". Ruby was also their. Ruby is that guy, whose ways of expressing funny things i admire! I still remember he was laughing like hell and that suddenly we all started laughing. I was charged! I was ready!

Phone rang! It was zubair, and we moved out of my room. Kinny, who was all time favorite of our class, enjoyed a great friend circle. He was ready with every backup plan he could. Rouf was not supposed to enter KP's room unless things got worse. Zubair was to accompany us from his floor. Gursimran and ruby stayed at ground floor they were not serious much but were a backup. Me and kinny were supposed to talk and signal.

We reached KPs room and found him sitting on laptop. Was he chatting with you? Kinny call him outside and he comes. After a minute of harsh introductions, Kinny grabs his hand and bring him closer to corner and asks about what you guys are upto. You know what he said? "She is my girl friend, and we will marry!" I was broken and shattered. I lost my energy and that i was in no mood to mess up. I withdrew my men, i knew kinny was ready to do anything for me, but on my insist, all moved and i said to KP " God Bless you, Keep her happy always"  and i climbed downstairs. Zubair & rouf went to their rooms and i came back. Destroyed, Sad & hurt, i kept on thinking all through the night.

I recalled, I pissed you off, I tried to thrash an innocent guy, I didn't took dinner and that i was sad out of the thing, which was never mine. Many thanks to my friends who helped me in recovering fast.

I have moved, dear. I might be wrong at some things or may be all. But i liked you from the day we first met. Time has a great power to change things from anything to anything. I still think about you sometime when i recall those old freaky days. I may still like you, but i have lost the desire to get you back. Reading till now, you must be either feeling awkward or knowing. I never proposed you, may be that was a mistake, But i never regret for that. I believe that by the time we learn that we start liking someone, it is already conveyed to him/her.

Anyhow, I know you too have moved in life. You have your original facebook profile now, which is very healthy. Also don't worry about anything i wrote. I wrote this letter for i feel better now. I am also posting this letter on my blog coz i think there are some people who need answers. I havn't used neither your full name nor any hyperlink. The people talked about in this letter don't care about this as they knew much more than this.

I don't expect any reply from you. So this is a closed conversation.

God Bless you! Keep Smiling and Keep rocking!

Abhishek Garg (I hope you remember)